SPECIAL EDITION: WHY DO THESE SONGS EXIST?

To kick off this new school year The lantern will be doing a special edition of OFF THE RECORD. We will be reviewing songs that leave many people question How the heck did this song get made?

1. Starting off strong with Number 1 on the 2013 hit ¨The Fox” or more commonly known as “What Does the Fox Say.” I will admit before starting this song it is shamefully catchy and will get stuck in your head. I am unsure of what a fox actually says though, and  a hundred percent sure it is not “Ring ding ding ding ding ding ding a ling.” Throughout the entire song Ylvis informs the listener of the many sounds different animals make, giving us golden lines such as “Cow goes moo.” When listening to this song I think about animal sound spinner toys where you pull the string and a terrifying voice tells you the sound the animal it landed on makes. What is even more interesting is the costumes. Ylvis wears what is supposed to be a fox costume, but I personally I think they look like squirrels. They run around in what is essentially a fox onesie singing a terrible and widely inaccurate song.  Furthermore, the most concerning aspect is this song won a Spellemann Award for Hit of the Year. The combination of terrible outfits, nasally vocals, and kindergarten level lyrics is why this song made this list. I Rate this Song 2/10.
2. Number Two on our list is “I´m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred produced in 2007. Before I even start on this song I would like to say that we really can’t expect much from a man who stole his stage name from Dr. Seuss. The song is  about the walmart version of The Rock running around a town listing all the things he is too sexy for. News flash he really isn’t and during one point he even claims he is to sexy for his car. Overall this song just feels like quite possible the weirdest flex ever. 1/10 but 10/10 for hilarity.
3. In 5th grade my teacher would always play one specific song every friday. Can you guess what it was? It was “Friday” by Rebecca Black, not really hard to guess. Anyway, as a mindless ten year old, this song was awesome. But now as a mindless teen I realize how truly terrible this song is. Rebecca Black somehow is able to sound exactly like Alvin the Chipmunk and a creepy animatronic. Black gives us top-notch lyrics like ,¨kicking in the front seat, sitting in the back seat, Gotta make up my mind, which seat can I take.¨ I love songs where I learn the mundane thought processes of the singer. Overall 3/10.
4. “Ice Ice Baby” by Vanilla Ice is probably one of the worst rap songs ever written. Vanilla Ice´s lyrics are mediocre and pale in comparison to the lyrical genius of other 90s rap stars. The only redeemable aspect of this song is the catchy beat. Oh wait. He stole that from the Queen. The most unimaginable pain is hearing the beginning beat thinking you are about to listen to one of the greatest rock bands ever, but instead you wanna be a rap star. Also Vanilla Ice’s real name is Robert Mathew Van Winkle just throwing it out there. Overall it’s a terrible song, 4/10.
5. “Bet On It” is sung by Zac Efron’s character Troy Bolton in the Disney channel movie High School Musical 2. While most songs from Disney channel are cheesy and mediocre this one is exceptionally bad. I have so many questions like why is Troy singing in the middle of a field? Why are these lyrics so terrible even for Disney? Why is Troy singing at all when he should be profusely apologizing to his friends? So many many questions. Song rating 5/10.